Medically reviewed by M. Thurairaj, Registered physiotherapist. · Last reviewed June 2026.
There is no single right pressure
People vary a lot in what feels good. Some like firm, deep work; others prefer something gentler and more relaxing. Neither is more correct, and the same person might want different pressure on different days or different areas. The therapist cannot feel what you feel, so your feedback is what guides them to the pressure that works for you.
Simple ways to communicate
You do not need special language; plain feedback works. Saying a little firmer, a bit lighter please, or that is perfect tells the therapist exactly what you need. If something is too much, say so straight away; firm should never tip into genuine pain you are gritting through. Good therapists actively want this feedback and will never be offended by it.
Firm does not mean painful
A common myth is that a massage has to hurt to be working, or that you should endure pain for results. That is not true. Even firm, deep work should stay within a pressure you can relax into, often a satisfying ache rather than sharp pain. If you find yourself tensing up or holding your breath, that is a sign to ask for less. Comfort and effectiveness go together.
Key takeaways
- The right pressure is whatever suits you
- Plain feedback like firmer or lighter works perfectly
- Speak up straight away if something is too much
- Firm should never tip into sharp pain
Frequently asked questions
Is it rude to ask for lighter pressure?
Not at all. Therapists welcome this feedback and want the pressure to suit you. Saying a bit lighter please helps them give you a better, more comfortable session.
Does a massage have to hurt to work?
No. That is a myth. Even firm work should stay within a pressure you can relax into. If you are tensing or holding your breath, ask for less; comfort and effect go together.